I feel my superhuman power at times. When I want to intimidate someone (way back in my corporate America life), I can direct my energy to get it bigger/more intense. When I want to stroll into a room unnoticed, I can shrink it and feel almost invisible. That was about the extent to which I would intentionally use my energetic or psychic powers.
Then there were the times when intuition would settle in so subtle I would hardly know what it was. When I was working as a massage therapist & a trainer I could intuitively see where aches & pains were coming from.
Can’t play your guitar anymore? Let's untangle those trigger points just below your elbow.
That plantar fasciitis? Roll out your calves to release the fascia and loosen up the foot.
That pain in your thumb? Let’s work those scalene muscles at the base of your neck.
I never knew what was known from past experience or drops of intuition. A hypnotist friend of mine asked me what this healing intuitive energy feels like in my body. No clue! was my answer. It’s like I just get an idea… poof!
So we decided to do a past life regression to a life where I was in tune w/ my intuitive healing powers so I could see what it felt like in my body. That way, in the future, I wouldn’t miss it. Also to acknowledge it more and more it’ll feel stronger or louder.
Enter my life as Marta.
In the first scene as Marta…
I was a little girl playing in the long black skirt my mother (in that life) was wearing. I was 2-ish years old. My mother was standing in front of a group of people teaching and speaking passionately. I was there whirling + twirling around in her skirt. She could captivate people even with me dancing around beside her.
She had no choice but to bring me with her everywhere. She was at peace with this because she knew she had to teach me all of the knowledge that she had so I could continue this work with her and long after she passed. She knew others thought this was odd or not ideal but she didn't care at all about what other people thought (big for me who focuses too much - although less than I used to! - on what people think). Her thought was like “I'm a mother + a healer. It’s who I am all the time so I’m not going to separate them.”
She knew what some people thought of the work she did and how she did it (with a kid attached to her). And she knew she had to train me with everything she knew. This piece was the truth that outshined and mattered more than anything else. Having to teach her daughter (me) everything and not having care for her child, she thought, "I’ll start right away. This kid’s with me wherever I go, she might as well learn it starting now."
In the next life scene…
I was around 10 years old. Completely proficient in the art of foraging, prepping and making tinctures, salves, herbs, etc to help people get back into balance. My mother and I were in the woods foraging for plants to help our 'clients' in this scene. My mother and I worked as a team, side by side. Using both our intuitive powers for double the healing. We were incredibly in sync - able to communicate without talking at times.
We even looked so much alike. Wild, curly black hair. Dark colored dresses. Dirty from work. Hearts filled up. Eyes on the big picture.
Then, my friend and facilitator in this session took me to a scene where I was using and embodying my healing power and intuition:
I was with a client & put my hands on his shoulders. I could feel this effervescent rush in my torso. Hot hands. All the information came through my hands. And pieces of information were coming to me about what he needed.
As Marta, I never doubted this information. Knowing that this was IT. Confidence. Knowingness. In the flow.
Allison, who facilitated this session, then asked when I have felt this feeling in this life as Jina. This was powerful to see. Something I would have missed in my conscious mind for sure.
In the final scene of my life…
I was in my 40’s foraging alone. A man was watching me. I could sense him but couldn't see him.
He came up behind me, stalking silently. Before I could turn to look him in the eye, he plunged his dagger into my back between my spine and shoulder blade.
My final thoughts during the death scene…
First! I want to say, death scenes are profound for so many reasons! I’ll write more about this in the future since many people are a little scared or sweaty about it. One of the reasons these scenes are impactful is the acknowledgment and release of self-sabotaging thought patterns that run in the background of our minds dictating behaviors and how we feel about ourselves and abilities. These thought patterns can get seared into our souls during the final scene of a life as the soul is leaving the body. Then we carry them around, tattooed on our souls.
In this life as Marta, my final thoughts consisted of things that simmered down to this: “You can do all this work and there will always be someone who is more powerful than you who will block or stop your work. What’s the point? You can only do so much.”
And I can see that tape running in my mind as I look back on my past. It's probably why life in past corporate jobs made me so anxious. Filled with layers and layers of people all for the (all-powerful) business and not for the people.
In this final life scene, I could feel the cold, damp ground underneath me as I struggled to breathe. I could smell the musty leaves that I was face-down in.
Kind of odd & funny…
Another thought running through my mind: I don’t want these worms and slugs to crawl in my mouth. Which is probably a root or layer in the weird feeling I have around bugs where I am terrified they’re going to get into my mouth.
I mean, not everything is super profound but it’ll at least make you cock your head to the side and say, "Huh… Well, that’s interesting."
Overall take away:
I felt so powerful being Marta. Feeling it in my current body, mind, and spirit in this life as I experienced her life is a feeling I haven’t forgotten.
Now, when I want to feel that strength, it’s a memory rather than a made-up pipe dream.
Which, as you can imagine, makes embodying Marta’s confidence, knowingness, and compassion automatic rather than a form of mental gymnastics that where I can never stick the landing.